Birthday surprise!
I received the card below as a belated birthday present from a dear friend. That was a surprise!
Because she knows me well and I know how much attention she pays to this present, it is very dear to me.
Yet this drawing also made me a little sad, because I also see the struggle I feel in it. And it has been playing up again in recent times. Anyone who knows me knows that I struggle with depression. Sewing often gives me positive energy, but sometimes that doesn't work either. The sewing machine therefore stood still for the past 1.5 weeks.
Thoughts of succeeding and, especially, failing, paralyzed me. And unfortunately the saying on the tshirt doesn't apply to me... I do need a therapist (what a blessing!) to help me make room for trying again, for failing and getting up again, for 'messing around'.
The artist way
I am very impressed with Julia Cameron's book ' The artist way '. She writes in great depth about creativity, how it can be blocked and what it takes to get it flowing again. That takes guts, daring, courage. Taking risks and reflecting. Especially the latter: thinking about blocking thoughts or beliefs. Thoughts such as: 'It has to yield something', 'It has to be socially responsible', 'Is it okay to spend my time on this?', 'Shouldn't I be doing something more useful?'.
But being creative, such as sewing and designing clothes, unfortunately does not fall within the laws of what is socially responsible, useful or logical. It's tinkering, following your intuition, expressing that which is beautiful and inspiring, getting happy from what arises under your hands.
As a Christian, I find it very inspiring to read how Julia Cameron connects creativity to the great Creator. A few quotes:
"I am a channel for God's creativity, and my work comes to good."
"My creativity heals myself and others."
"Through the use of my creativity, I serve God."
"My creativity leads me to forgiveness and self-forgiveness."
"As I listen to my creativity, I am led to my creator."
"I am willing to let God create through me."
"I am willing to be of service through my creativity."
Productivity and efficiency
This teaches me that there is more to life than productivity, efficiency and profit. Spending time creating, making beautiful things, is precious time. It is a way that you are allowed to see and show something of the beauty that has been put into this creation. And with that you honor the Creator, who is the creator of shapes, structures and colors.
In a dark time, the eye begins to see - Theodore Roethke
I need that. And that is healing. That's why I hung the above card by my sewing trolley, to remind myself of this. #Sewingtherapy!